{"id":42851,"date":"2021-04-01T09:00:44","date_gmt":"2021-04-01T01:00:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/shopee.com.my\/blog\/?p=42851"},"modified":"2021-04-02T11:40:48","modified_gmt":"2021-04-02T03:40:48","slug":"middle-child-syndrome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/shopee.com.my\/blog\/middle-child-syndrome\/","title":{"rendered":"If You\u2019re A Middle Child, You\u2019ll Relate To These Things"},"content":{"rendered":"

April 10 is <\/span>National Siblings Day.<\/span> The unofficial holiday celebrates and honours the bond between brothers and\/or sisters. Siblinghood is imperative because it\u2019s an integral part of a functional and happy family unit. But it\u2019s not without complications and heartbreaks. If you\u2019re a middle child, you know it to be the <\/span>middle child syndrome<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sure, it\u2019s not a clinically proven syndrome (yet) due to ongoing research, but the \u201csymptoms\u201d can be very real. I\u2019m a middle child and I can attest to that. In conjunction with <\/span>National Siblings Day<\/span>, here\u2019s what I\u2019ve learned growing up.<\/span><\/p>\n

But First, What Is The Basis Of The <\/span>Middle Child Syndrome<\/span>?<\/span><\/h2>\n

Middle child syndrome<\/span> is the belief that middle children are neglected due to their placement in the family. As inbetweeners are sandwiched between their older and younger siblings, they often find themselves at odds with their identity.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Typically, parents divide their attention between the first and last born. In retaliation, middle children may resort to mischief or other means of expression to bridge the gap between them and their siblings.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Middle Child Syndrome<\/span> Has Taught Me Many Lessons, Such As<\/span><\/h2>\n

Independence Is Important<\/span><\/h3>\n
\"middle
Credit: Jon Flobrant<\/span><\/i><\/a> via <\/span><\/i>Unsplash<\/a><\/span><\/i><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Unlike my siblings, I had to learn cycling myself. Every evening at 5pm, I\u2019d observe the older boys cruising around the neighbourhood. I wanted to be them, so I started applying the steps and movements from memory on a hand-me-down <\/span>bike<\/span><\/a>. After weeks of scraping my knees and elbows, I was finally part of the cool kids\u2019 entourage.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This experience stood out not because I craved swagger (maybe a little) but because it gave me the first glimpse into the concept of independence. Despite not having someone to coach me in cycling, I learned the ropes on my own. Safe for leaving a permanent scar on my left kneecap, I was really proud of myself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I was in the driver\u2019s seat of my life, even if it was something as simple as picking up a <\/span>hobby<\/span><\/a>. Looking back, I can\u2019t say if I\u2019d be feeling the same way if I had any help.<\/span><\/p>\n

More than that, it honed my critical thinking and decision-making skills from an early age, holding me accountable for my actions. If I messed up, it was on me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Being Comfortable In My Own Skin\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n
\"middle
Credit: Pim Chu<\/span><\/i><\/a> via <\/span><\/i>Unsplash<\/span><\/i><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

In terms of <\/span>middle child syndrome<\/span> indicators, low self-esteem and identity struggle go hand-in-hand.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Normally, the eldest child is an overachiever, the confident and dominant force. The youngest child? Their reputation precedes them. As the baby of the family, they\u2019re practically untouchable. Where does this leave the middle child? Nowhere. Well, technically in the centre\u2014without attention.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

To cope with this identity crisis, many middle children turn to their passions and interests to establish themselves. It could be <\/span>music<\/span><\/a>, <\/span>arts<\/span><\/a>, <\/span>fashion<\/span><\/a>, or <\/span>sports<\/span><\/a>. For me, it was <\/span>basketball<\/span><\/a> and music where I met like-minded people.<\/span><\/p>\n

Oddly, the lack of attention is a blessing in disguise. While your siblings are under scrutiny, you have free rein to chart your own path. You are your own hero.<\/span><\/p>\n

Negotiation Is A Necessity<\/span><\/h3>\n
\"\"
Credit: Headway<\/span><\/i><\/a> via <\/span><\/i>Unsplash<\/span><\/i><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

By virtue of their positions, middle children are used to not getting their own way. From managing parents\u2019 expectations to diffusing tension between siblings, they\u2019re often caught literally in the middle of a family drama.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Without clout and favour to leverage, they count on reason and wit to get out of situations. They\u2019re willing to compromise for the benefit of everyone, even if it means occasionally getting the shorter end of the stick.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Although <\/span>middle child syndrome<\/span> describes the feelings of isolation that afflict many middle children, we learn to turn the negatives into positives, most of the time in our favour. In family negotiations, we don the <\/span>hat<\/span><\/a> of an \u201coutsider\u201d, allowing us to see things through a different lens.<\/span><\/p>\n

We don\u2019t take opinions at face value. Instead, we evaluate them and give feedback with thorough reasoning. Our opinions might not be the loudest, but definitely the most persuasive.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Compromise For A Peace Of Mind<\/span><\/h3>\n
\"middle
Credit: Daniel Bernard<\/span><\/i><\/a> via <\/span><\/i>Unsplash<\/a><\/span><\/i><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I remember the time when my elder brother and I were arguing over whose turn it was to use the <\/span>computer<\/span><\/a>. He was exerting his authority on me, forcing me to give up. Initially, I was adamant to stand my ground. Then, I realised it just wasn\u2019t worth the effort because I wanted to enjoy my screen time in peace.<\/span><\/p>\n

Plus, he was leaving for college in a few weeks\u2019 time. I would have the desktop<\/a><\/span>\u00a0all to myself then. Why not wait?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Being a middle child has taught me the importance of compromise. If we could let our siblings have their way in exchange for our sanity, we\u2019d gladly do it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Thus, we often go with the flow better than first- or last-born children, often unfazed by our surroundings. As adults, we take things in our stride. If something isn\u2019t meant to be, trust that we won\u2019t force it. In retrospect, the years of growing up under the guise of the <\/span>middle child syndrome<\/span> have given us thick skins. We\u2019re not apathetic, we just don\u2019t take things personally.<\/span><\/p>\n

Labels Are Not Real<\/span><\/h3>\n
\"\"
Credit: Javier Allegue Barros<\/span><\/i><\/a> via <\/span><\/i>Unsplash<\/span><\/i><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I\u2019ve lost count of how many times someone has asked me about <\/span>middle child syndrome<\/span> and its impact on my life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

While I\u2019m open to detail my experiences, it can get a little infuriating due to perceived labels and assumptions. My birth order may impact some areas of my personality, but it certainly doesn\u2019t determine my future.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The stereotype that middle children are \u201cembittered wallflowers\u201d with no ambition doesn\u2019t hold water\u2014in actual fact, we are social beings, great team players, and make good leaders.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Did you know that 52% of US presidents\u2014such as Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, and Richard Nixon\u2014are middle children? What do Michael Jordan, Michael Jackson, Warren Buffet, and Walt Disney have in common? They\u2019re middle children.<\/span><\/p>\n

All things considered, it\u2019s the struggle of being a middle child that has moulded us into strong, idealistic individuals. The labels may stick with us for a lifetime, but we know we have more to offer.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Middle Child Syndrome<\/span> Aspires Us To Be Better<\/span><\/h2>\n
\"middle
Credit: Drew Beamer<\/span><\/i><\/a> via <\/span><\/i>Unsplash<\/span><\/i><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

There\u2019s no denying the reality of being a middle child. We grow up vying for attention and validity, and it can take a beating on our self-confidence.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But what I\u2019ve learned through my formative years is that middle child syndrome is a catalyst for growth. It exposes our weaknesses but also uncovers our strengths.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, we may have baggage from the past that creeps into our lives from time to time and that\u2019s perfectly normal. So, if you\u2019re a middle child and reading this, remember to be kind and stay true to yourself! And happy <\/span>National Siblings Day<\/span>!<\/span><\/p>\n

That said, perhaps it\u2019s time for you to let go of certain things so you can move on with your life. It\u2019s tough but doable. <\/span>Here\u2019s how<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

April 10 is National Siblings Day. The unofficial holiday celebrates and honours the bond between brothers and\/or sisters. Siblinghood is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":42865,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[88],"tags":[315,372,480,312],"class_list":["post-42851","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","tag-adulting","tag-life-strategies","tag-mental-health","tag-parent-child-relationship"],"yoast_head":"\nMiddle Child Syndrome: What I Learned From Being The \u201cOdd One Out\u201d<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Middle child syndrome may not be clinically recognised, but the 'symptoms' are just as real. 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